What is selfishness and "Was The Buddha Selfish?"

My friend asked.."What is selfishness?".

The question raised numerous doubts in my mind. I did a search on the internet ( funny isnt it...some may find it stupid).But the internet did reply back to me in the below given format... 

selfishness

ˈsɛlfɪʃnəs/

noun

1. the quality or state of being selfish; lack of consideration for other people.

   "an act of pure selfishness"

I asked myself who is selfish and who is selfless?.Some may say "The Buddha was Selfless".

My debate with the english dictionary that defines "selfish"..."Was the Buddha Selfish?" ( as per definition given by any dictionary).

Buddha Shakyamuni was born as a royal prince and named Siddartha in a place called Lumbini, in what is now Nepal. His mother’s name was Queen Mayadevi and his father’s name was King Shuddhodana.
Prince Siddartha showed his excellence in what he was supposed to do as a prince...mastery in scriptures, mastery in martial arts....everything that he wanted his father wanted him to do. Siddartha got married to Yashodara...at the behest of his father and his subjects.

Siddartha wanted to seek...But no one wanted to let him go....but he left.

He left, because he wanted to seek and had to think selfishly ( as defined by the internet....lack of consideration for people..) . In this case lack of consideration for his father, his mother, his subjects...least of all for his wife.

The question now is "Was Buddha Selfish?".

It took me back to a whatsapp message that one friend had sent to me.

The story about Buddha returning back to his wife and his wife giving him a cold shoulder....

So I guess the woman's liberation front will say " Buddha was selfish.He had lack of consideration for his wife...He was selfish".

And the men's liberation front and some people from the old school of thought may say " If Siddartha left, it shows how incapable the woman was. If she was strong enough she could have stopped him...So it was not the Buddha's selfishness but the woman's incapability".

Some people who simulate the all knowing spirituality may say " Siddartha was an incarnation of god. His mother had already got the signs of him being a supernatural being and his father got the prediction from his royal astrologer that his son, the prince siddartha was destined to become a Buddha". 

Now it can be 

"The Buddha was a selfless being who wanted to seek the truth and find a solution for all the sufferings."

Or it can be 

"Was The Buddha, a selfless being who wanted to seek the truth and find a solution for all the sufferings?."

So the million dollar question..."Did Buddha find an answer to all the sufferings...If he did why was he not able to bring about a permanent change in the world?".

If he did bring about change and brought the change only amongst the people whom he met then again " Was the Buddha selfish?". Since again as per the internet selfishness is defined as lack of consideration for people and Consideration only for a few people can also be considered as lack of consideration.

So incidentally The Buddha, had consideration, for  only a handful of people whom he came in touch with...people whom he could meet or reach out to directly or indirectly and then spread his message to them .

Isn't it then?...debatable...that even with his new found spiritual powers and the extra ordinary capabilities, that he exhibits in his life story,he could limit only his knowledge to be spread amongst only a few people and not to every individual in this world.

So did the Buddha leave his parents (who nurtured and brought him up) and his wife (who left her parents and had to live like a widow for the rest of her life) just so that he could spread the message of love and humility to a handful of people with whom he came in touch with, and the teachings to be forgotten in time.

And moreover he could only spread the good thoughts...None of his disciples or followers attained "Nirvana"...So it takes us back again to the same question "Was The Buddha Selfish?"...coz he never could give anyone else the experience what he experienced in terms of Nirvana....

So was the buddha selfish?. He attained Nirvana....but only "He" attained Nirvana....
Where does his father, mother, wife figure in this entire equation?

Again the point of debate by our self proclaimed spirituals masters, advocates of spirituality can be ... "Nirvana cannot be attained by everyone..you have to work towards it..."
So Nirvana is about our own self...our own destination...

Which indirectly means "Each one to his own....funny isn't it? "

So was the buddha selfish?.

If the buddha wasn't selfish...then what is meaning of selfish...what is meaning of selfless...

I can be the buddha...If I want to, I can attain Nirvana , ..."I seek the destination that is me"...but then can I seek the destination "me" without being selfish...And I say now that before I can become the buddha...I have to become  selfish.

Read about the life of buddha (click this link)